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(847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

(Source: textsfromlastnight.com)

yourpersonalcheerleader:

You must work diligently and patiently in the direction of your goals.

itsmemacleod:

i once said no to drugs but they didnt listen

(via this--too--shall--pass)

johnhoustonstockton:

just wanna get rich enough to buy my mom all the shit she deservesย 

(via fastgirlsdoitwell)

"When god became lonely
he created man,
Or was it
When man became lonely
he created god."
Melanie Exler strengthenizer (via strengthenizer)

(via this--too--shall--pass)

officialfrenchtoast:

cool date idea:

1. come over to my place with your dog

2. leave your dog

3. go home

(via inlovewithmylovely)

malaikafilth:

cadaverinecocktail:

Breaking news: angry religious people still killing each other in the Middle East.

posts like this make me wanna vomit

shawtynug:

dankk-vibes:

New pipe and the last of my purp ๐Ÿ’™๐ŸŒŠ

Omg it’s so prettyyy ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

lovemeinblackandwhite:

i need a pack of cigarettes, alcohol & cuddles.

(via fadeddreamsandnicotine)